Watchers in the Night by Jenna Black

Published by Tor Paranormal Romance, 296 pages, November, 2006

Mass Market Paperback

ISBN: 0765354519

Having read 7 paranormal romances in less than 7 days, I can honestly say that this book, were it to be graded, would fall right in the middle, garnering an average C on the writers report card. It's not awful, like many syrupy, over-heated romances out there, but it's also not a stellar page-turner that will keep you up past your bedtime.

The story runs thus: our heroine, Carolyn Mathers, is a petite but ferocious ex-cop who was left at the altar three years ago by our hero, Gray James. James shows up unexpectedly one night to save our feisty little heroine from a crazed, knife wielding teenage boy, though we are told she didn't really need saving, as she was carrying a concealed Glock.

Hearts flutter and pulses race as we discover that Mathers and James still have feelings for one another, but, when Mathers interrogates him, James is mysteriously reticent about where he's been for three years and why he left our heroine at the altar. The reader knows immediately that James is a fledgling vampire, and we're treated to a meeting of the “Guardians” a group of vampire pacifists who drink lambs blood and milk in a bottle, and never kill humans for ‘moral' reasons. Because James was starved into taking a human life when he was first made a vampire, he's being ‘watched' by one of the older Guardian vampires, a French Canadian fop named Jules. Once a vampire has killed, it is believed that he develops an ‘addiction' to murder and will continue to take lives to satisfy his hunger for blood. Inevitably Jules, who swears in French and has cornered the market on sarcasm, has the best lines in the book.

Because she's just that plucky, Mathers refuses to accept that James is, as he's said, through with her, and she decides to investigate him. Meanwhile, there's a throat-slashing serial killer loose in the city, and the Guardians fear it is a rogue vampire, whom they are obligated to track down and destroy. All the clues point to Gray James, unfortunately, so much of the book is spent trying to find the real serial killer, called the “Broad Street Banger” and clear the name of the hunky James.

Through several twist and turns, and some hot and sweaty clinches between James and Mathers, it becomes apparent that the killer is an older vampire with an accomplice on the ‘inside' of the Guardians. After Mathers finally figures out that James is a vampire, and accepts his excuse of wanting to protect her as his reason for cutting off their relationship, the plot begins to race to its “Buffy the Vampire Slayer” style conclusion.

Unfortunately, I knew who the “Broad Street Banger” was well before I was halfway through the novel. I knew his accomplice had to be one of two Guardians, and though I was right, the way the ‘mole' was revealed was one of the more original scenes in this book.

Ms Black must have purchased the “Romance Writers Guide to Writing Paranormal Romance via the Usual Format,” because Watchers in the Night is rife with clichés. The “throbbing and pulsating,” erection, the “heart beating so hard” it nearly bursts from her chest and the inevitable moans and groans of passion that always include a darting tongue, the woman's silky skin smelling of flowers, and the mans “hardness” bumping against her rump, in case she wasn't aware he was excited. Of course, because Mathers is the stereotypical plucky petite private investigator, she is so very sexy, and her paramour, Gray James, is rippling with muscles, tall and flawlessly handsome because we all know that being a vampire instantly turns you from an average guy to a total hottie, right?

I used to read Harlequin romances when I was a teenager, and they had all the same tired ingredients; the plucky gal who gets into danger and is saved by the hot guy, whom she thinks doesn't love her because he's only trying to protect her from his bad self. But the attraction is too strong! They can't hold out against love! In today's romance novels, there are inevitably ‘tease' scenes where the couples grapple, have lots of hot and sweaty foreplay, but are interrupted and frustrated in their attempts at sexual intercourse.

Apparently, good girls don't have sex in the first two chapters; they must wait until the book is at least half finished. Then the sex is described in euphemisms that readers are supposed to find erotic, but that I find laughable. Romance writers must have agreed to a ban on the words “penis,” “vagina, ” “clitoris” and “sperm.” Somehow, not knowing the proper term for your reproductive organs (and the fluids thereof) has become sexy to romance writers. I wish I knew at what point in history slang and stupid stereotypes became erotic. Another oddity of paranormal romance; the heroine never performs oral sex on the hero. Never. I don't know if that's because women have written all the paranormal romances I've read, or if its just another one of those little rules set down in the aforementioned romance writer's guide, or perhaps it is an unspoken rule. The women in paranormal romances do receive oral sex from the hero, of course, and the couple always climax together. But the men are left with, if they are lucky, a hand touching their penis or, in the case of "Watchers in the Night," a lick or two. This seems unbalanced and unfair at the least.

I would be willing to bet that Ms Black has read Laurel Hamilton's Merry Gentry paranormal romances, and Charlaine Harris' Sookie Stackhouse books. Both authors have the same plucky, gorgeous, petite heroines who have sex with vampires or, in the case of Hamilton 's Merry Gentry, hot male fairies and humans who dress well. Cherry Adair's paranormal romance series “The Edge of…” has sexy male wizards and women who, though plucky and petite, hold important jobs. Hamilton 's protagonist sets herself apart by being a royal fairy on the run, Harris' Sookie is a poor-but-honest Southern waitress with just a bit of fairy heritage to give her psychic powers, but our heroine in “Watchers in the Night” has nothing to set her apart but her stubborn and irritating, yet still petite and plucky self. Carolyn's best friend Hannah, who is a bit over the top in her rudeness, ends up being more interesting than the heroine.

However, we are left with a happy ending that allows Mathers to join the Guardians and stand by her man, the vampire. I can only hope that in her next endeavor, Black will create a heroine who is different from all the other plucky paranormal romance gals, and a hero who isn't just a neo-con underwear model with fangs.

by DeAnn Rossetti
reprinted from BOFFM #4 (forthcoming)